Ok..So for me these are the 5 types of people I normally encounter daily and I just wanted to express how I feel, I think you may feel the same!
Discussing it with people I normally get reassuring nods and lots of “yessss sooo true” but unfortunately unlike me people are too polite to address any of the below people with the problem! These people will be people probably on one of your social media outlets, colleagues or friends. You have probably come across one…two or maybe all 5 of them! I am probably a few of these myself (minus the gym going clean eating for obvious reasons…)
Anyway, have a read and let me know if these people are in your life too!
1. The clean eating gym goers…AKA “The Go hard or Go homes”.
These two things don’t always come together but more than likely if you have an obsessive gym goer they will normally also continually post pictures of their chicken and broccoli dinner on your timeline…yawn! My definition of clean eating is when you get the little bowl of lemon water with your BBQ ribs to rinse your fingers or get a hot towel at the end of your Chinese buffet! Clearly I have missed something! But in 2014 it seems this is the “trend” at the moment! Now I am all for living healthy and eating well but dammmmmmm sometimes we just want to eat a slice (or 6) of cake and indulge in some ribs with a side of ribs on a bed of ribs with some hot wings without feeling guilty about it!
2. The “check In” obsessors AKA “The Check Mates“.
If you have facebook you are aware of the “check in” facility it offers…now this can get ABUSED by some people who insist on checking in EVERYWHERE, from their beds, their living rooms, the toilet, shops, days out, hospitals…and even more shocking…ambulances and A & E! These are the type of people who will check in at their own funeral…”Blah Blah has checked in at Smiths Funeral Home ‘Give me a great send off guys, love you all x”
Checking in at Thorpe park is one thing…but I have literally seen people check in at hospital! In any kind of emergency where have you found the time for that thought to even enter your brain? I pray for these people. Hopefully the next check in I see is them at church on Sunday.
3. The positive thinkers AKA “The Marvellous Mondays”
Now these people are not so bad, sometimes their posts or words can be quite uplifting, HOWEVER we are all kidding ourselves if we don’t admit we want to drop kick someone every now and again! I do think it is important to see the light at the end of the tunnel, to see your cup half full yaddaa yaddaa but don’t feel bad or ashamed if you have spent 20 minutes planning your colleagues brutal demise in your head and considered if you could realistically get away with murder! Its normal, natural and we have ALL done it! If you have these thoughts often..seek help lol but don’t feel the pressure to be happy every single minute of the day! We are humans and it is completely acceptable to not want to smile or laugh and to wallow in self pity every now and again! And if you cant stop yourself from slapping someone REALLY irritating then dont think of it negatively…..just tell them you simply “high fived their face”.
4. The competitive friend AKA “If you can be sick I can be sicker”
These people are amusing to me and sometimes I can be naughty and try and see how far I can push it. For example I have a “friend” who whenever I speak to always seems to be in competition with me reagardless of what we are speaking about whether its work, general life, sickess or just how busy we have been! Conversations are similar to this:
FRIEND “Hi Hun, How have you been?”
ME “Ok Thanks, haven’t been too well though bad headaches”
FRIEND “oh gosh me too, mine have been soooo bad I have to go to the doctors”
ME “Yes me too, I went and got tablets”
FRIEND ” yes yes, I did, then they referred me to hospital to have a scan and see a specialist because they are concerned…..”
I could continue but you get my drift? LOL there is no end to this under lying competiveness from these types of friends and they are too amusing! I challenge you, when you have a similar conversation with someone from this group keep going and going to see how far they will go….hell why not even tell them you nearly died, you might not hear from them again because they will be playing dead!
5. The “All about me” people AKA “The Hilary Banks”
Now if you don’t or haven’t watched an episode of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air you wont have a clue who I am on about! But Hilary is the character who is very self-absorbed and everything is about HER! These people are the Hilary Banks of our worlds! They are the ones who NEVER ask you how you are but instantly tell you their worlds falling apart (you normally haven’t even asked and its all superficial), they are the friends who NEVER drive anywhere but will get in your car, the never offer petrol money, never pay you back, advantage taking, self-centred and well quite frankly up their own ass’s sort of people! Who, might I add, normally have NO serious problems but ones that could probably be sorted out with a trip to the nail salon and a top shop gift card.
We all have one…maybe a few and the more you realise it the more irritating they seem! I have had many a conversation where it hasn’t actually started with hello..but just a sentence about all the things going wrong for them at the moment! Once I got back from holiday and someone text me, no hello, no how was your holiday, no are you alive…simply and starting sentence about their troubles…! Its draining, however on the plus side, it sometimes makes you realise just how wonderful you are.
Now I hope I haven’t offended anyone…and if you are reading one of these wondering if I am talking about you then I probably am!
Hope you enjoyed
The Fat Funny One x
P.S Aint no thing but a chicken wing.