Shop for “Him”

So the title of this may seem like I mean shop for him…buy him something, a present a gift but no. It is quite literal. Shop. For. Him.

I was speaking to a friend last week and saying how great it would be if you shop for your own man! You could purchase him, all his components, attributes… (hehe) Create the ideal man for you!

I started thinking about what the store would be like, what the aisles would be, would there be a 30 day guarantee? Could we exchange, upgrade after 24 months, could I fit all the bits I wanted in my trolley? Would there be a reduced aisle and if so would there be crowds of woman like in the supermarket trying to grab them a bargain? Will we have a value option, a regular option and a FINEST option!!

So I got my thinking cap on, I grabbed my mind trolley and started shopping…

 First Aisle..Looks…So I head for the chocolate section…(no offence to any but we know I have a sweet tooth)…the value option looks cheap, irresponsible and isn’t dressed very well, so I look up a shelf..fair price, nicely dressed, reliable, safe! Then I look up to the top shelf! FINEST range, overpriced, rich, likely to disappointing, dressed immaculately but probably contains the exactly the same as the average range..sometimes even the value range, risky.

 I move on to attributes. This aisle is quick; I throw bits into my trolley knowing what I want, without checking prices or making comparisons. I know this aisle, It’s the things I need, my “necessities”. LOAYLTY, COMMITED, FUNNY, INTELLECTUAL, SPONTANEOUS, KIND, HONEST, SOCIABLE, PASSIONATE.

 Sorted, nearly there. So I mooch on round to the aisles I am not really too concerned about but just in case they have any offers I scoot on down! Job Title, Bank Balance, History, Exes etc etc…things that have too much of a chance of expiring or changing that they are not worth putting in, I can make these myself at home.

 Then I head down the luxury aisle, maybe I should treat myself? Get something I wouldn’t normally, I mean I deserve it right? hmm…..what to choose? Cash Bonus, Romantic, Adventurous…ABS…Extra Parts..too much choice! What the heck, I earn it…throw in some……romance! Haven’t got space in my trolley for anything too big anyway!!!!!!

 Then on route to the check out I whip back round, haven’t forgotten anything, try and go through my mental shopping list in my head…I get to the reduced aisle….Its busy as always! People trying to grab a bargain, throwing in all sorts of items they probably don’t need but they are getting a “bargain”. I have done this many a time and realised I am just wasting my hard earned money here so I am more cautious, more careful. There is a lot of what I have in my trolley already but cheaper, a little damaged on the outside but seems perfectly fine on the inside but there is always a reason it is in this section.. I debate it, is the saving worth it?


I opt out.


Take my trolley to the check out….purchase my goods and head out the door, into my car and take myself home…and half way back I realise DAM I forgot the most important thing, the thing I wanted the most, what I initially went in for…A SINGLE ONE!!!!!!!




Thanks for stopping by


P.S Hope you have change for your trolley!


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