Fancy Pants


Friends are often the family we get to choose! Some come and go in your life, others stay for a while! Some you eventually realise were never your friends at all. We have different types of friends and these can be simply defined by the contents of your underwear drawer.


G strings – Now, these are not your friend. You think they are but they are not. They are straight up b!itches; Fake people who like to pretend to be the lovely caring friend but in reality they are just “inner” your business for the sake of knowing information. They have no real purpose when you think about it; they barely cover anything and from the beginning they get on your dam nerves.  These “friends” have nothing better to do than to be up your ass looking for shit.


Thongs – These are your sometime-ish friends. Useful, practical at times but after a while they get on your nerves. Sometimes they are your daily contact! You speak often, you know each others ins and outs but when the shit really hits the fan you realise they are not really the most ideal option for you. Their advice is weak and they are not always considering you when they give it, they are ok but only for now. These friends give you a false sense of security and don’t often last that long. Thong friends come and go, they are good while they last but they don’t last and that’s the problem.

Frenchies/Shorts – Now these friends are the ones who you know you can rely on when you need something practical doing and need honesty, reliability and comfort. They are there when you need them and they do exactly as they say. Sometimes you don’t pull for them as much as you should, you go for a thong or a g string thinking its “easier” or that’s what you “need” for what your wearing and these friends are the same. You often go for other types of friends in the fear of letting these down because they will give you the answer you need to hear and not what you want to hear.

Fancy Pants (Sexy matching sets and anything lace)  – These friends are the ones who may give you some support and be there for you but primarily it’s because of themselves. They are getting what they want from you! They look good and it’s because you make them look good. You fill yourself with the idea that because of them YOU look better, do better, are better but that’s not the case. A pretty set is pretty but it’s nothing unless it’s worn! Be wary of these people, despite them being there for you, their selfish intentions can often lead to hurt. They are good to have around as ultimately you will both get you want from each other and there is some good in that but be mindful and cautious as something that looks that good can often lead to trouble…

Granny Panties & Big strapped bras! – THESE friends are the best you will ever have. The family you have chosen. They are: Reliable, Comfortable, They will last a lifetime and they will ALWAYS be there when you need to offer support! You don’t wear these nowhere near as often as you should but they are always there when you need them. They are patient, inexpensive and never fancy or pretend to be anything other than what they are. They are modest, they see us at our lowest and deal with us when we are at our worst and never judge. We put all of the above before them and they don’t make you feel guilty, they understand that sometimes you need a thong for that day or you need to wear something a bit sexy and they get it, the understand it and the know their place in your life.

They last a lifetime when others snap, break, you get bored of them or they just simply don’t do for you what you want anymore.

Personally, I love me a granny pants and big strap bras but I do not treat them how I should! I have often (especially when I was younger) gone for the G string/thong and fancy pants friends thinking they are wonderful and great and I look back and realise they did nothing for me. They never really supported me and never made a positive effect on my life, temporarily yes but not permanently. I need to do more and pull for my reliables because they are the ones who ultimately will always be there when I need them. Rather than wasting my time spending the day pulling a string from out my ass hole I should be embracing the comfort and support I get from the undies at the back of the drawer…


So my declaration to myself is to not allow myself to get caught up in temporary friendships, they do nothing for you but leave you empty. Despite all I will go with my reliables, give them more of my time, more of me because they deserve it. They have honoured me, maintained my modesty, kept me out of trouble and more importantly they are there when I just want to be me with no pretence.

Not everything that glitters is gold and not everyone who smiles at you is your friend. Sometimes that is hard to come to terms with because you don’t want to believe that people are not genuine but it is true it’s the reality of life. So give your time wisely, to those who deserve it and those who will be there for you no matter what. Because when you’re at your lowest a g string, a thong, some lacy pants or even frenchies are not going to be appealing to you; they are not going to give you what you need at that time.

Thanks for stopping by

The Fat Funny One x


P.S Bridget Jones was a wise woman.



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  1. June 7, 2017 / 10:27 am

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