My side is the right side..

of the bed that is! And not literally! I sleep alone in the middle of my bed or with a toddler who takes up the left AND right side of the bed but I am not speaking in the physical.

This morning I woke up in a beautiful mood, feeling refreshed and happy which is odd as this is not how I fell asleep.

I was let down by a friend yesterday and reacted badly! I was stroppy and angry, hurt, disappointed and quite frankly P!ssed off! I am famous for over reacting and being a bit of a drama queen but things get to me I find it hard to let them pass but slowly and surely I am getting there and learning to take positives from every negative.

It was almost as though I had an epiphany when I woke up! (please believe I had to google how to spell that word and make sure it was the right one! haha). I have been doing the 100 days of happy challenge and I make myself do it every night before bed and I write it in a diary. I chose to do this at this time so I can reflect on the day I have had. After everything I realised how grateful I was for myself and that despite how I was feeling there was a lesson to be learnt in this situation. When I close my eyes every evening the last thought on my mind is what I have just written down and I believe it means I go to sleep with a happy head and happy heart with the intention of waking up feeling exactly that!

I am in control; in control of managing my own expectations. When you allow others to do this you are more likely to be let down or feel disappointed when what they led you to believe is not the reality. YOU are in control of how you feel in a situation, the other person/people/place etc do not matter! However, like most things this is easier said than done.

An example of what I am talking about it is; imagine a child asking their parent if they can have McDonald’s every day. Now when they ask the question although they are hopeful they will get a yes there is also some expectation that their parent may say no….! So when they do say no although they feel a bit disappointed they didn’t get what they wanted, it was always at the back of their mind it may not happen anyway so the disappointment fades quickly! NOW if the parent says to a child “shall we get McDonald’s today” the expectation of getting this is almost certain!! Why would they suggest it if it wasn’t going to happen? Especially when they know this is what the child wants! If the parent then decides otherwise and says “actually not today” imagine how that feels for the child?

My point is, keep your level of expectation the same as if you asked the question. Take back the control. Do not allow others do determine how you feel and although disappointment is inevitable in many situations don’t let it consume you. Feel it. Deal with it. Move on from it. If you’re anything like me I will talk myself into a bad mood! That one little disappointment and the fact I can’t help but overthinking everything means; a friend letting me down at the last minute for dinner plans equals my life is awful and I have no friends and I am fat and horrible and no one loves me!
NO. It means re arrange for another time! That is all!

I don’t want you to think I mean have NO expectations because we are human and naturally we will look forward to things, have a belief of what people are like and their behaviour, we will want and predict certain levels of service from companies, restaurants, shops! There are aspects of our lives we will want certain things and we won’t always get those wants and it’s about taking control of how we feel and managing those expectations so we do not let the feeling of disappointment take over. Once you do you realise some things simply just don’t matter!

I have recently been eating clean! (I am 4 days cake clean) and I am not sure if the freshness in my food is reflecting my outlook but I feel so much better and again not just the physical but the spiritual, the emotional and the mental!

Waking up this morning made me grateful, happy and just pleased that I have the opportunity to rectify what went wrong yesterday! I am enjoying this journey so much and I am truly seeing the beauty in the creative process of becoming me.

Thanks for stopping by x

The Fat Funny one x

P.S I prefer KFC anyway.

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2 thoughts on “My side is the right side..

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