I woke up like this…

Indeed I did. I woke up like “this”.

If “this” is a frizzy haired, eyebrow missing, breathe smelling, eyelash absent, crusty eyed mongoose looking lady! Then I most defiantly did!

Beyoncé didn’t exactly lie. She just failed to mention during the night her minions including her personal hair stylist, make-up artist, dentist and dermatologist were working through the night so she did in fact “wake up like this”.

It’s EFFORT to making yourself look amazing every day! Lying back while some poor girl waxes your bush and the tears roll down the side of your face! Poking yourself in the eye or gluing your eyelids shut trying to put on fake lashes, watching 600 you tube tutorials on how to apply blusher, and then sweating off the said blusher you just applied trying to squeeze into your suck me in pants! Burning the side of your face with your straighteners, The plucking, tweezing, squeezing, pushing, pulling… The list is endless of the painful, time consuming and difficult processes we have to go through in order to look “beautiful”.

Some days you just want to get up, wash your t zone (armpits and…) and get on with your day! It’s just never that simple! Now I was never a huge make up person (I look back at pictures and realise I really should of been) however I am now very much into make-up now and try very hard to make more of an effort, because as they say when you look good you feel good! BUT it’s your interpretation of “looking good” that is the difference.

Celebs always look fab but they can AFFORD to look like that! We are not the same as them and do not life their lifestyle. The don’t have 9 – 5’s, chores or minimum wage; so if we are not equal in terms of lifestyle why do we continue to compare and expect to be equal when it comes to how they look? A magazine cover is not real life. These people are airbrushed, filtered, touched up and sometimes even have body doubles!

I believe we are all entitled to do as we wish in order to feel good! If you want a boob job, go right ahead (providing my tax money isn’t funding it)! If you want to pencil in your eyebrows you do that (just use an eyebrow pencil and not a sharpie) if you want to weave it up with some hair you got from Maria from Rio then you do exactly that! BUT don’t reply on these things to make you believe you are beautiful.

Now for any men reading! Appreciate the time and effort it takes for a woman to present herself to you! Don’t be fooled into thinking Kim K and Beyoncé look like that every day! I mean, if they did why on earth have they ended up with JayZ and Kayne? Be realistic! I often see men sharing before and after pics on Insta of woman pre and post make up with comments like “these girls are lying to you”! We are not lying, we are simply conforming to what you perceive as beautiful when you insist that all these models are “so fine” and you would want someone who looks just like her!

Ladies, do what makes you happy! Go natural, relax it, weave it, grow it, lock it up! Draw on them eyebrows, wipe them off, tattoo them on or even shave them off! Do what you need to do for YOU! And at the end of the day, before you go to bed and you have wiped all your make up off, tied your hair up and whacked on the sudacrem (please tell me I am not the only one who does this) and your made down, look in the mirror and make sure you love yourself equally to when you are made up!

Thanks for stopping by x

The Fat Funny One x

P.S I would have time to look like Beyoncé every morning but I do my daughters hair….

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