I am supportive, fun, chatty, friendly, a little loud, crazy, kind, funny, the list is endless of all my wonderful qualities; however I am also a controlling brat!
I have always been a bit of a drama queen (yes I said “bit of”) and never been happy when I don’t get my own way! I like to think this was most of us and deep down I think it is, however it’s how we react publicly that makes all the difference.
My cherub is 2 next month and heading to the “terrible 2” stage of her life although I am sure it has been here a while now! Last week she requested biscuits at bedtime to which I refused unknowing of what was about to come next! The tornado that is my Cherub went crazy! She absolutely lost the plot, screaming, kicking, and crying hysterically! I did not know what to do so I rang her dad then I rang my mum and short of throwing my bible and some holy water on her she eventually cried so much she fell asleep! I tried everything to calm her, sang (this made it worse), got into bed with her at one point I offered her a biscuit but she was so overcome by her tantrum she didn’t even want it anymore.
I realised after that this can be exactly the same for us adults.
We can get so angry at a situation it snow balls to the point where we cannot even remember why we were angry in the first place! We can take things personally, over think them, blow then out of proportion and take them the wrong way. All these things lead to hurt, upset and anger which can all be directed into the wrong person, wrong situation and ultimately doesn’t really ever lead to a solution.
Someone, pointed out to me how much of a brat I can be! And as much as it hurt to listen it was refreshing to have someone be so honest with you that it makes you consider how you make others feel and how they see you. My initial reaction was to cuss, defend myself, get angry and then very dramatically say “well I don’t care anyway” and they predicted all of those things; so I said nothing and I just cried. I cried and listened, and rather than stamp my feet and ignore them, block and delete them or even box them, I took in what they said and wondered if I was just simply going through my own “terrible 2” phase.
I know why I am the way I am, I like to be a bit controlling because in many situations in the past I have had the control taken away from me. I find it hard to hide how I am feeling, I have the worst poker face and in all honesty, I can be childish. But I am only ever those things because I care. I care too much, I love too much and I give too much. I want so desperately for everyone to believe I am a certain way that I; in turn create a very different version of myself.
In trying to be perfect I highlight my flaws, which doesn’t benefit anyone! I need to learn to be mature in handling situations so that my inner toddler doesn’t come out kicking and screaming. It’s hard to take criticism, to hear things you don’t like and to not get what you want when you want it! We are human! Naturally we would like things to go our way and have everything be our “ideal” but accepting that this will not always be the case is not just being realistic, but mature, admired and respected.
I have always felt misunderstood, I never explain myself well and I am very quick to react! All those things are a recipe for disaster if I don’t know how to control myself! I take things I don’t understand as an attack. I always feel like people are going against me or have something negative to say or think. I soon realised that I was projecting my own negative outlook or feelings I had about myself onto them and then taking whatever it was they had done or said as an attack rather than simply trusting that there are some things I just won’t understand!
Be understanding if someone doesn’t react well or they have a tantrum over something you have done or said! It probably isn’t you! We are all different in how we handle situations. Just always be honest, be kind and most importantly be patient.
I had looked at all different ways to parent when dealing with tantrums and 8 times out of 10 it will say LISTEN. Listen to the child, ask what has made them feel like that, why they feel like that and try and understand where they are coming from, Then explain what went wrong, how they can move forward and then love them! Encourage them and throughout the whole process never let them feel unloved or unwanted.
Adults will be no different.
Thanks for stopping By x
The Fat Funny One x