Growing up I always wanted to get married! Quick to get the “Mrs” status! I practised my signature, planned my wedding and sometimes would tell people I was “Ms” Not “Miss” thinking it was some sort of upgrade! I was quick to want to grow up because when I was younger, being a MRS in my mind gave me more self-worth, more importance and more wisdom.
Today I was in a situation which made me reflect on my level of maturity of handling incidents where I feel misunderstood, which then leads to misunderstandings.
I almost feel like I have 2 women in my mind when dealing with situations. Miss Understood & Ms Understanding. One always leads to the other and they are not helpful!
Miss understood is the frustrated of the two. She encourages quick responses and can be thoughtless in her words. In some situations this makes me defensive and can be seen that I am be being bratty, angry or a drama queen where in actual fact I simply feel like the other person is not understanding where I am coming from and this is upsetting.
We have all been there, and it can be so frustrating when you are trying to explain something to someone and they simply don’t get it! You try various ways and means of getting your point across but the person looks at you although you have been speaking Japanese! This could be something you deem as simple such as a maths equation or directions! But when it comes to something complex such as your feelings; it becomes a whole different ball game!
I have to learn that what I find simple or what makes sense to me may not to someone else. So if I have been upset over something I cannot expect someone to always understand why I am upset if the same thing would not bother them! What affects me may not affect them and what I deem simple may seem complicated to them! This works both ways!
People must learn to remove the word “normal” when they are dealing with others. We all have different definitions of “normal” so be open minded! It would be hard for a vegetarian to understand the pain when you get to KFC and there are no hot wings left; it would be equally as hard for someone else to understand why you would have a meal with no meat. You may not have been in the same situation as someone but don’t judge, condemn or dismiss how someone feels about something because just because you can’t understand why they feel the way they do! Allow someone to feel how they feel because that is their human right.
Learning patience is something I am working on and will help me whether or not I am being misunderstood or I do not understand!
Ms Understanding is always around in my life! She encourages me to over think, dwell on issues that need no review, over analyse and she does not like communicating! She makes me think I know what’s going on, make assumptions about what I feel or think about something and then handle a situation all wrong! The danger with her is she is the middle ground between Miss Understood and rational thinking! She is the person who makes you look back at an argument and say “I wish I said that” or look back through text messages and think “I didn’t reply to that” & “I can’t believe he said that” so 6 months 2 days and 4 hours later you are cussing your ex-boyfriend for leaving his dirty pants on the floor – NEXT to the wash basket.
This is where arguments lie. When you think you know the facts, you know how the other person feels, you know how it should be, and you know you know you know when really, it is just a misunderstanding and a lack of acceptance that some of us simply handle situations differently!
My aim is to be a Mrs. A Mrs “I Get it”. I want to be the woman who handles situations rationally, calmly and maturely. Who doesn’t jump into conclusions, over thinking to the point I create a totally new issue or quick to react! So basically I want to be a man (LOL).
‘I get it’ doesn’t always mean you are fully aware of every detail; it could be that you understand there are just some things you won’t always! That we are all different, we feel, think, see and hear different! How you construe your words to come out may not be how someone else hears them! Being aware that we all need some patience and to communicate in order to avoid “misunderstandings”. And when you feel misunderstood step away from situation, re-evaluate your delivery and then come back with a fresh way of explaining what it is you mean!
So, I am putting a ring on it! No doubt this is going to be one long everlasting engagement but I am prepared to wait; to learn, to experience, to read and to absorb in order to go from Miss to Mrs.
Thanks for stopping by x
The Fat Funny One x
P.S – Despite all of the above I will never understand people who don’t like cake.