Rules! The Library, School, Work, the Country! Everywhere has them and they come in many forms, Company policy, Law, Regulations. They are there to provide fair conditions for all, order and maintain a certain standard. We can have them as individuals too! A set of morals or guidelines we have and we follow in all different aspects of our life such as diet, work and most commonly in this game we play called love. I have them but then I came across him and he made me want to throw my rule book out the window…
I have touched on it before in one of my previous posts about game playing! Everyone has one they want to play and there is this unwritten rule book about how we approach this dating scene, how we deal with people and how we are “supposed” to be. For example: Communication. Everyone says wait for him to contact you first, don’t chase him, let him chase you, if he wants you he will message you! The list is endless of things we shouldn’t do. I can’t keep up, he makes me want to say Hi, to see how his days going, so I do! If I was the person to instigate the conversation twice in a row who cares! We become so caught up in how we should be and what we expect from the other person we forget the basic steps in communicating with someone else. Don’t get me wrong; if you have messaged 4 times and haven’t had a reply but continue to contact them then you cross the line to stalker.
Some people have a “type”, characteristics of a person they desire or they find attractive, these don’t always have to be physical although we can be quick to dismiss someone because they don’t have the aesthetics we desire and do very little to explore them as a person. For all we know they could be the person we have been looking for and because we have gone on first glance we have missed an opportunity. I have admitted it before but I am quick to judge and get so frustrated with myself for it but as I have matured I have come to the understanding there is more to men than tattoos, muscles and pretty eyes! There is something beautiful in every person and someone for everyone; I mean Honey BOOBOO’s mum has a man so each to their own!
I have a friend I know who has this “90 day” rule after watching Think Like A Man, she adopted it and has been doing well in her dating life so far in filtering out who is serious about her as a person and who is just looking for some! I can completely understand the need to it and the reasons behind it. Getting physical too quickly can sometimes take away from the excitement, the interest, the curiosity about another person and well, quite frankly no one wants to be labelled as “that girl”. But what if you come across a person that makes you stare at them from head to toe, undress them with your eyes and wonder…… You tell yourself they are the forbidden fruit that you can’t have but they look like they taste like everything you ever wanted, craved, needed…
We all have an ideal partner; someone we think would be good for us. All the same interests and things in common! They love the same food as you, films, drinks, music but what if that isn’t the case? What if the differences you have make them more appealing? They don’t come close to what you think you needed but they are everything you wanted.
Have you ever told yourself, right I am staying in tonight! You make plans in your head, been pleased you have planned to save a bit of money and then you find out they will be somewhere and before you know it you are picking out an outfit and then in your car on your way out!
I know others who have done something that’s “not like them” or out of character, something unexpected! GOOD FOR THEM! Do it, be with someone who makes you want to live, be a bit adventurous, exciting, unpredictable. I am the worst for getting stuck into a routine, becoming very regimented in my behaviour and being so so so predictable! It almost feels naughty to think that someone may not know what’s coming next from me and that they will look at me and say “I didn’t see that coming…”
Now of course I understand the need for rules in general and in every other circumstance I would embrace them as I like order and control. I often try and manipulate my behaviour in order to ensure I keep control in whatever the situation I am in rather than just be and despite this being the correct way of dealing with some things in this situation, there is absolutely no point. When we are so strict we restrict. We don’t give ourselves or others the opportunity to be spontaneous, unforced, impulsive and uninhibited. Worried what others might think about us, how they perceive us and living up to their expectations of how you should be. I do it to myself, try and force myself to be what I think I should be rather than how I feel.
If they are on your mind, contact them.
Lean in for the kiss.
Give it up on day 23 or day 103
Throw the rule book out
What’s the worst that can happen?
I can lie and say I can’t stand the lack of self-discipline I have when it comes to him, the lack of control and the way he makes me feel but he’s the exception to my rules and I like it.
Thanks for stopping by x
The Fat Funny One x