Now I wish I was talking about something a little naughty…but I’m not lol
I am talking about compliments! We all give them freely (in some cases) and get them often (again only in some cases) but when we get them do we always take them well?
I am the worst for this and often get told I don’t take compliments well but I have to admit that I find it really awkward. It’s a mixture between being embarrassed slightly, them wanting something and simply not believing everything someone says. Whenever someone gives me a compliment I always come back with something negative about myself to correct them or dismiss what they have said and the more I do it the more I have realised how insulting it can be to the person offering the compliment up!
For example if someone says “Your eyes are pretty in that picture” I will automatically reply “oh but the rest of my face is horrible” or if someone says “that dress it nice” I will say “if I was 2 sizes smaller”. I can never just simply say Thank you. It is Ironic because part of me believes that dismissing the compliment is being “modest” and that is an attractive thing about someone however it does the opposite. It makes me look insecure and needy and in actual face makes me a lot more unattractive because I lack the confidence to just be pleased with what someone has said and thank them.
I also spend so long wondering why someone if complimenting me because they must have some motives I can’t believe what they are saying! If it’s a guy, well naturally I assume he just wants to bed me and a sales person just wants to make money! But what about the drunk girl in the toilet who tells you how pretty you are! Sometimes we have to just realise people are complimenting us simply because they want to and what they are saying is true!
We can dismiss them, get embarrassed by them or ignore them but we all love them really! When someone says something nice about you we are automatically elated and feel good. It’s a positive thing to feel so why be so quick to shut them down? I don’t put up 700 selfies on instagram for someone to comment “should of slept a bit longer Jess” so why is it when someone says something positive I struggle to just accept it?
I have touched on it previously and a lot of it is because I don’t want to be seen as too “up myself” or full of myself but someone said to me recently “It’s about having confidence with no ego”. Getting the balance right is difficult because no one wants to be perceived as being so sure of themselves they are hard to handle or not a very nice person! We quickly forget that confidence in itself is a very sexy and appealing trait to have.
We will all have things we would like to change about ourselves that’s normal but being confident in your own skin can make you feel better about yourself and in turn make others see better in you. We don’t realise that when we knock back a compliment given to us we are insulting the person giving it; we are discouraging them from being nice and not allowing them to voice their opinion. You shut them down enough and eventually they won’t say anything positive to you at all.
I appreciate it can be awkward especially if you don’t want to pay a compliment to the other person! Imagine, you get chatted up and the other person tells you, you are beautiful, but they are looking more shit pit than Brad Pitt? What do you do? There is that awkward moment you think they are expecting you to say something back and you just simply don’t know what to say! We have all been there but people shouldn’t give compliments to receive and as they say, if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all!
We need to all learn to just be happy that someone has gone out of their way to tell you something nice! No matter what capacity you know someone, NOONE in this world HAS to pay you a compliment so when someone does accept it, like it, love it and embrace it!
Thanks for Stopping By x
The Fat Funny One x
P.S Secretly we all know we are sexy as hell we just don’t want to admit it.