For the longest time I have wanted to take to the stage. I adore the theatre, comedy shows and seminars and every time I go I get this bubbly feeling in my stomach that just wants to run to the stage.
I decided I wanted to bring my blog to life. I wanted to talk and discuss all the topics I post about so frequently because they mean so much to me and maybe, just maybe I would be able to help someone that little bit more. Despite wanting to take to the stage I didn’t want it to all be about me and I certainly didn’t want to profit from other people’s generosity.
My reality was I couldn’t run the event for free but I also wanted to make a difference where I could so I decided to run the event to raise money for charity.
Choosing the charity was an easy decision when I decided where I wanted to support. There are thousands of charities that support people every single day and do some incredible things around the world and I considered so many that I have either done stuff for in the past or have been effected by but after thinking about what the event was all about and what I talk about day in and day out on my blog it seemed the right thing to do to choose a Mental Health Charity – especially one who’s services I have used myself.
A few years ago on New Years eve I was home alone. Sophia was with family as I had plans to go out which didn’t go ahead and at the last minute and after an argument with the other half I saw myself going into the new year alone.
Now this might seem so ridiculous to some because they are happy in their own company but I wasn’t. I let my thoughts of being alone snowball into telling myself this is what I deserved, this is what my life would always be like.
My thoughts got out of control, they got deeper and darker til I was out of my mind. The closer it got to midnight the worse I felt.
I always use the phrase ‘start as you mean to go on’ and always believe in spending the new year doing something positive like celebrating or being with loved ones. I was doing neither at that moment.
Thoughts escalated. I got deeper into despair and my thoughts got worse and worse. I started frantically calling people in my phone book and no one would answer – I mean why would they! Everyone was out…this went on for hours and hours until this tiny thought trickled into my head…’No one will care if your gone’
I told myself it over and over and I mean, the reality of what was happening right now was the evidence I needed.
I tried to fight against the thoughts but I was so weak. I was low and the snowball got bigger and bigger and bigger. Before I did anything I picked up my phone and text my other half ‘sorry’ then I went to google.
It was like my mind was pouring into my fingers and I started typing…I pressed search before I knew it and the first website link that came up was MIND.
I had searched ‘I need help I am loosing my mind’
I clicked on the link and started reading the webpage. ‘Your not alone’ ‘talk’ ‘support’ were words that started filling my brain and I started to breathe slower, I started to pay more attention and I realised maybe, just maybe, I’m not the only one who feels this way.
I started reading, the about us, the info and support details and there was a big flashing sign saying ‘need urgent help now’.
The more I read the calmer I felt over time and I must of eventually fallen asleep. I woke up the next morning and I was so grateful I had.
I may have only come across a website which to some are Just words on the internet but MIND do incredible work for people who suffer with mental health and their website came to me just at the right time.
It wasn’t patronising or difficult to digest. It told me I was ok, I wasn’t alone and it told me there was always someone there if I needed them. Things I was doubting constantly.
There was a HUGE section on information about every type of mental health, daily tips on how to survive and support groups and helplines. Everything I needed was there at the click of a button.
It’s constantly in the media that the government are making cut backs to the mental health support in the NHS, the shortage of nurses, the long waiting lists, it is worrying. Which makes it all more important we support charities like MIND who are trying to do what they can to give people the help that they need. These charities NEED our fundraising to keep them fighting the fight. The world needs them, people need them, I need them.
Doing these events and being given the opportunity to raise money for them is an absolute honour. I’m not expecting to raise millions of pounds, dam I wish I could, but anything I can raise will be incredible. I want to be able to fund more of the amazing work that they do every single day.
So if you can come to London or Manchester please do! Come to the event and listen more about my journey and some other incredible inspiring women!
If you can’t make the events then just simply by a raffle ticket! They are £10 each and every single penny of that goes to MIND. There are some incredible prizes up for grabs!
If you need support or want to have a look then please head over to the MIND website www.mind.org.uk
Thanks for stopping by x
The Fat Funny One x
P.S You are never alone ?