I am really hoping the title and image are not lost on everyone and I am just the biggest looser going but moving on swiftly..
Under pressure is a perfect description of how I have been feeling in life in general but also about social media. I feel the overwhelming urge to perform because isn’t that what everyone else does? The beautiful pictures, the perfect houses, is that really peoples reality?
I dunno – I never started writing for anything other than to just be funny (try and be funny) and express how I was feeling, I never in a million years thought it would be what it is now and I would be working with brands, running events and being in national blooming press! If you asked me 10 years ago if I would be in a national newspaper I would of laughed and joked the only place would of been on page 3 (nothing wrong with it and I had a decent natural pair) but things have turned out so differently.
There are so many highs and lows with social media and the internet in general and unfortunately recently it has felt like there have been more lows. Someone recently made an unfounded claim about me on the internet that resulted in a large number of people attacking me and even people who had followed me for some time question my character and I would be lying if I didn’t say it knocked me for six and I was only a few clicks away from deleting it all.
Just in true instagram story fashion it was all over once the story was removed after 24 hours but the anxiety and the stress of it still consumed me and was slowly suffocating how I felt about the online world.
I mean I have had trolls before, calling me fat (cracks me up people actually feel this is an insult given my blog name) and making various random claims about me and it fascinates me that people can make such big judgements or have such strong opinions on me when I am pretty irrelevant (obvs if your a brand reading this I am totally relevant and currently trending) . However this claim felt different because people who I would of liked to think knew me questioned it and it worried me – what sort of person do I portray online that people for a second would think this about me?
I appreciate social media is 99% of the best bits – the good selfies, the perfect family portraits, the flatlays of beautiful bright delicious food and I love it but if I am really honest with myself that isn’t me. I once ironed a tea towel for a food pic and realised that I needed to have a strong word with myself because as much as I want to use my blog and my social media to work with brands I love – I need to be as real as possible.
My events have been incredible and I spend an hour talking to the most wonderful people sharing my own journey and recently I felt so overwhelmed with it. If I post that I am unhappy or not having a good day why on earth would anyone spend the money to come and see me speak about living your best life?