Somewhere over the rainbow.

This isn’t an easy post to write and since November 2016 I’ve wanted to write it. I wanted to lay it out on paper, I wanted the support and someone else to say they understood but instead I carried on like everything was ok.

On 12th September 2017 I posted one of my most exciting posts (and popular) on Instagram! I announced we were pregnant! I was buzzing all day at sharing the news with everyone and telling the world! I had so many different ideas of how to do it! I spent far too long on Pinterest looking at ways to be creative and annouce but I just couldn’t be bothered so it was a straight up scan pic with Sophia! It was so exciting to plan but it also felt slightly weird because in my time on Instagram it wasn’t the only pregnancy announcement I had planned to do, I was just pleased this one made it to the screen.

We were tying for maybe a year to get pregnant, every app going telling me my cycle, I had it! Vitamin taking, cycle checking – we were on it! We tried and tried and tried and nothing so we decided to stop before it became a chore and the frustrations of coming on my period every month wore me down. Instead we decided to book our wedding! Focus on something else and when the time feels right we will try again. A few weeks after booking we found out we we’re pregnant.(you couldn’t make this shit up!)  

What dress was I going to wear now! Hen party drinking was out the picture, not even a glass of champers on my wedding day and a plush honeymoon would have to be prosponed (for a few years) But we didn’t care – we had waited so long it was fabulous news that it was what it was and we were going to just enjoy every moment. 

1 in 4. That’s the statistic of how many women go through it. The heart breaking and devastating ‘thing’ that is miscarriage. 

I watched several of my insta ladies sadly tell their stories of theirs but I still couldn’t face telling mine. I almost didn’t want to admit that it happened to me too. I almost felt guilty because many of the women telling their story had no children yet and this was their first pregnancy and I felt like I didn’t have a right to be as devastated because I already had a child. People would tell me to be grateful, that I was ‘lucky’ I already had a a baby and I was so scared no one would understand I was still just so heartbroken. 

I was 9 weeks. I won’t give anyone the ins and outs because I’m not ready to go there but I woke up in the morning covered I blood and I knew instantly that this was it. The Hospital trip was one of the worst and the Dr who dealt with me was insensitive and cruel. Maybe I was being over sensitive I told myself to justify his comments and questions but after being sent back to sit in A & E I couldn’t face sitting with everyone else so I sat in the corner. Next to a vending machine. I just sat there in the corner and cried. People watched. Wondered what the hell was wrong with me but I couldn’t keep it together. I remember leaning my head against the vending machine and it was so cold and for a second the relief of that against my hot face felt so good. I sat in that corner for what felt like forever wishing and hoping and praying that maybe this was all just one of those things and everything was perfectly fine but I knew it wasn’t. 

We had already told all our family! Our grandparents, parents our best friends and Sophia. We had told Sophia she was going to have a baby brother or sister, we prepared her for the exciting news and she was just as excited as we were – how do I now tell her that it’s all over? 

We couldn’t face telling all our family again so our mothers did that for us. They made the calls round on our behalf and I laid in there watching my phone light up with every message or phone call of support but just couldn’t face answering. 

When we got home I threw myself on the sofa and didn’t move. For 4 days I didn’t move. On Day 2 I pulled out my work laptop and I threw myself into work. I wanted to just ‘get on with it’. Pretend like things were ok because maybe if I got back to normal then things wouldn’t feel so bad.

I watched pregnancy announcement after pregnancy announcement on my social media timelines and whilst I was genuinely so happy for everyone my heart broke again a little bit each time but I told myself to ‘stop being so selfish! You already have a child so stop being ridiculous’ but no matter how hard I tried to convince myself it never felt this way – I hurt. I hurt a lot and no one could do anything to make it better.

Sophia never ever mentioned it again and I think the universe maybe just erased it from her memory (ok she was 5 so she probably forgot like she does where her shoes were) but I couldn’t of been more grateful because I just didn’t know how I was ever going to explain to her what had happened.

Fast forward to July 2017 and returning from holiday something just didn’t seem quite right. 6 pregnancy tests later (I mean you can never be too sure) and several picture messages to my besties to confirm there really was two lines and it was confirmed we were pregnant but I wasn’t excited. I wasn’t bursting to tell anyone I was scared. I was absolutely petrified because what if it happens AGAIN! What if this happens again? I can’t cope. Maybe we were just made to have one? Maybe we aren’t good parents and only should have one child? I was so scared I didn’t even want to tell my mum. What if I broke her heart again? What if we had to make that dreaded call again! 

I made my appointment with the midwife as before but none of felt good. I was so anxious and just felt like I didn’t want to be excited. My midwife is brilliant and offered for me to have an early scan for reassurance mainly to help my anxiety because she couldn’t see in my face I was just petrified. 

I had a scan at 6 weeks / 9 weeks & 11 weeks and after every scan I felt a little bit better. A tiny bit better because everything was ok every time. 

I welcomed morning sickness because it felt like a sign my body was doing what it should be and that almost made me feel better!

We finally made our announcement and I felt like I could breathe and finally share my good news. The congratulations came flodding in! Parents were beaming at the idea of being grandparents again it was incredible until Saturday 7th October when I went to the toilet, wiped and saw red.

I vomited. Fear – panic, this can’t be happening again? Please god no. I’ve had my scans – everything is fine! How can this be? Rang the midwife who sent me to the hospital and after being hooked onto a drip they told me they couldn’t scan me til Tuesday. 

Saturday – Tuesday felt like a lifetime. Are you ok baby? Are you here? Please be here. I spent 3 days filled with the worst anxiety. I screamed at Trevor and Sophia about everything, I didn’t want to speak to anyone I was petrified. Tuesday came and I sat in the waiting room waiting. They called my name and it was the same sonographer who confirmed my miscarriage last time. I don’t want to be here, on this bed with this lady. Was this a sign? She is going to tell me the same words again isn’t she! She is? She’s going to break my heart again. 

I stared at the ceiling and the tears rolled down the side of my face and it felt like a deafening silence in the room until she said ‘there you go – there is your baby! I can’t get a  good picture though because it just won’t keep still’ 

I didn’t know what to say. I just said thank you. I probably said it a thousand times. 

The bleeding finally stopped 8 days later and various other tests and scans over the last few weeks have confirmed 1. Baby is ok and 2. We are going to have a baby girl.

Nearly half way there and I still feel anxious but far better than before. I am allowing myself to be excited, to purchase things and to really get into the fact I’m going to have TWO girls!!!! TWO daughters! (God help me!) 

This pregnancy is a blessing and a miracle and I am forever grateful to be chosen to be someone else’s mum. I have accepted that I shouldn’t feel guilty because my heart break was mine and though mine may be different to someone else’s and some to suffer far worse it doesn’t make pain any less valid. 

In December last year a few weeks after we went shopping for Christmas decorations and after begging sophia not to touch ANYTHING in the store because no doubt she would break something she went running off to the other end is the aisle. She carefully picked up the the most beautiful glass angel for our Christmas tree and said ‘mummy please can I just have this one’. 

I remember my eyes stung so hard because I wanted to cry. I felt a bit like this was our little angel and it was a little reminder of them. It will be in the centre of our Christmas tree now and Sophia thinks it’s the most wonderful decoration and it truly is. This year will be strange but I am looking forward to seeing that beautiful decoration on my tree. It shines so beautiful and twinkles in front of the fairy lights and although it hurts I find comfort it seeing it. 

Miscarriage is sadly more common than we know but I wanted to write this to tell someone somewhere – your not alone. Your pain is valid and you are allowed to fee however you choose about it despite your circumstances. 

When I spoke about it to a select few so many said ‘I have had one too’ and although I hated hearing others feel that pain it was comforting knowing people knew exactly how I felt and could offer support and understanding. 

Just know you haven’t failed. There is NOTHING wrong with you and this isn’t anyone telling you you won’t be a mother. We can tear ourselves apart wondering why me, why did this happen and what did I do. Of course it’s easier said than done to truly not feel or think these things but honestly – from the bottom of my heart, it isn’t YOU. 

I hope this has supported someone in a dark time and I pray that everyone gets their Rainbow 🌈 (normally when you least expect it!) 

Thanks for stopping by x 

The Fat Funny One x 

P.S ‘some day I wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me. Where trouble melt like lemon drops away above the chimney tops that’s where, you’ll find me’ 

💗

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Events Calendar

Bubbly and Body Love Front Cover

 

 

Up Coming Events

(Click the location name on each event to buy tickets)

Saturday 11th November 2017 – Glasgow

Saturday 18th November 2017 – London 

Sunday 19th November 2017 – Bristol

Sunday 26th November 2017 – Birmingham – Tickets on sale SOON (TBC) 

 

Other Events & Locations Pending

London – Motherhood & Mental Health

London – Bubbly & Body Love

Bedford – Bubbly & Body Love

 

Past events

Sunday 3rd September – London – SOLD OUT

Sunday 15th October – Manchester – SOLD OUT 
 

 

 

Mind over Matter. 

For the longest time I have wanted to take to the stage. I adore the theatre, comedy shows and seminars and every time I go I get this bubbly feeling in my stomach that just wants to run to the stage. 

I decided I wanted to bring my blog to life. I wanted to talk and discuss all the topics I post about so frequently because they mean so much to me and maybe, just maybe I would be able to help someone that little bit more. Despite wanting to take to the stage I didn’t want it to all be about me and I certainly didn’t want to profit from other people’s generosity. 

My reality was I couldn’t run the event for free but I also wanted to make a difference where I could so I decided to run the event to raise money for charity. 

Choosing the charity was an easy decision when I decided where I wanted to support. There are thousands of charities that support people every single day and do some incredible things around the world and I considered so many that I have either done stuff for in the past or have been effected by but after thinking about what the event was all about and what I talk about day in and day out on my blog it seemed the right thing to do to choose a Mental Health Charity – especially one who’s services I have used myself. 

A few years ago on New Years eve I was home alone. Sophia was with family as I had plans to go out which didn’t go ahead and at the last minute and after an argument with the other half I saw myself going into the new year alone.

Now this might seem so ridiculous to some because they are happy in their own company but I wasn’t. I let my thoughts of being alone snowball into telling myself this is what I deserved, this is what my life would always be like. 

My thoughts got out of control, they got deeper and darker til I was out of my mind. The closer it got to midnight the worse I felt.

I always use the phrase ‘start as you mean to go on’ and always believe in spending the new year doing something positive like celebrating or being with loved ones. I was doing neither at that moment.

Thoughts escalated. I got deeper into despair and my thoughts got worse and worse. I started frantically calling people in my phone book and no one would answer – I mean why would they! Everyone was out…this went on for hours and hours until this tiny thought trickled into my head…’No one will care if your gone’ 
I told myself it over and over and I mean, the reality of what was happening right now was the evidence I needed. 
I tried to fight against the thoughts but I was so weak. I was low and the snowball got bigger and bigger and bigger. Before I did anything I picked up my phone and text my other half ‘sorry’ then I went to google. 

It was like my mind was pouring into my fingers and I started typing…I pressed search before I knew it and the first website link that came up was MIND. 

I had searched ‘I need help I am loosing my mind’ 

I clicked on the link and started reading the webpage. ‘Your not alone’ ‘talk’ ‘support’ were words that started filling my brain and I started to breathe slower, I started to pay more attention and I realised maybe, just maybe, I’m not the only one who feels this way. 
I started reading, the about us, the info and support details and there was a big flashing sign saying ‘need urgent help now’.

The more I read the calmer I felt over time and I must of eventually fallen asleep. I woke up the next morning and I was so grateful I had. 

I may have only come across a website which to some are Just words on the internet but MIND do incredible work for people who suffer with mental health and their website came to me just at the right time. 

It wasn’t patronising or difficult to digest. It told me I was ok, I wasn’t alone and it told me there was always someone there if I needed them. Things I was doubting constantly. 

There was a HUGE section on information about every type of mental health, daily tips on how to survive and support groups and helplines. Everything I needed was there at the click of a button. 

It’s constantly in the media that the government are making cut backs to the mental health support in the NHS, the shortage of nurses, the long waiting lists, it is worrying. Which makes it all more important we support charities like MIND who are trying to do what they can to give people the help that they need. These charities NEED our fundraising to keep them fighting the fight. The world needs them, people need them, I need them. 

Doing these events and being given the opportunity to raise money for them is an absolute honour. I’m not expecting to raise millions of pounds, dam I wish I could, but anything I can raise will be incredible. I want to be able to fund more of the amazing work that they do every single day. 

So if you can come to London or Manchester please do! Come to the event and listen more about my journey and some other incredible inspiring women! 

Click Here for ticket to London and here for tickets to Manchester

If you can’t make the events then just simply by a raffle ticket! They are £10 each and every single penny of that goes to MIND. There are some incredible prizes up for grabs! 

If you need support or want to have a look then please head over to the MIND website http://www.mind.org.uk 

Thanks for stopping by x 

The Fat Funny One x 

P.S You are never alone 💗

Primark haul! Work clothes, Holiday items and all the little shitty bits by the till…

Soooo I am NO fashion blogger but my self love journey has allowed me to make fashion choices I would never have before! It has allowed me to have so much freedom and ‘play’ with clothes and fashion styles that I would always have dismissed, claiming they were for ‘beautiful slim people only’. 
So my new found love for clothes (much to the despair of my credit card) has given me a new lease of life and I have started sharing little things here and there but wanted to actually do a full blown haul! 
A proper haul – check me out! 
Anywho I have categorised them sort of incase you want to skip some and look for something in particular! Not too many items though as I tried a few pieces on that I will be exchanging for different sizing etc or just looked ridiculous! 

One thing I will point out is sizing! I have a massive range of sizing in items here from 12-20! I can’t stress enough how much the number on a tag means nothing! Size seriously doesn’t matter so please don’t worry about that! For me it was all about getting the right fit and that’s all that matters. 
So here is my little mini Primark haul! 
Work 

As many of you know I am starting a new job tomorrow morning and wanted to just get a few new work bits to freshen up my work wardrobe (and make 5am starts worth getting up for). 

Navy V neck blouse – £6 / Size 18 


I really love this blouse! It isn’t stretchy hence why I got an 18 because I wanted the girls to have room to breathe! The V neck detail is perfect as it isn’t too low where I will worry about hoisting my top up all day in a bid to not scare my new colleagues with a flash of boob! It has little fold over cap sleeve which is nice too! 

Length is great – I am 5.1 so on anyone else it will be on hips but it’s a bit longer in me (as you can see). 

All in all a great all round blouse – don’t worry I will remember trousers when I wear them to work! 

Ivory T shirt blouse – £10 / size 16


I literally look like I’m pooing in this pic – I’m not but I wanted to get the sleeve detail in and the pocket and between that and being rubbish at this fashion stuff my pic ended up like the above! 
Really nice blouse with fabric that Has a little more give hence the size down. I love the detail on the sleeves and the pocket and the colour is lovely too! Too white for me = make up stains in the first 2 minutes so this ivory/cream is perfect. 
Black sheer sleeveless blouse – £8 / size 16 


I love this blouse and the fact although it’s sheer across the boob etc it’s jet black so you can’t see through! 

Sleeveless is something I don’t normally do at work but I really love this simple easy style. Size 16 which is fine but I could of gone a size up to ensure it slipped on especially over my hip as it’s a little longer than the average blouse.

Brown wide fit shoes – £8 / Size 4 


Pretty self explanatory! I had wide feet so I love that primark so wide foot shoes! 

I always think there shoes are great value altho after 6-12 months I always think they stink a bit and end up with a new pair but for the price I don’t mind so much! Love the buckle detail on these too! 
Lunch box/Snack bag – £1 


Probably one of the most important purchases for me. I mean it’s lunch soooo it’s high on my list of priorities! 

They had some incredible ones including Disney ones, trolls, belle and so many other patterns! 
Holiday 

Miami print swimsuit – £4 / size 14 


For £4 I literally couldn’t leave it. Fab price for a swimsuit and the fit is lush. 

I always size down in swimsuits so it’s tight enough to hold up the girls – don’t want to be tripping up round the pool! 

It’s a really low scoop back but really comfortable and actually really great support. 

Palm tree print swimsuit – £4 / Size 14 


The colour of this swimsuit is AMAZING! Really beautiful – it was Sophia who picked it out for me and I am super glad she did. I was going to choose between the two swimsuits but at £4 each I just threw them both in. 

Pizza LILO – £10 


Do I even need to explain? 

There are no words to describe the excitement about lying on this on holiday! *pics pending*

Blue print dress – £6 / Size 20


I massively sized up on this but I wanted it to be baggy! It has a draw string around the waist so I could tighten it accordingly as I have in the pic. 

It has cut out shoulders and a little drill detail at the end which I really love. 

Very light fabric almost like a Kaftan but not sheer (and was in the dress section) 

Will pair with som wedges on holiday and dress up for dinner in the evening. 
Other random shitty bits from the till 

I am the worst for picking these little bits up! And today was no different! 
Teeth products (pricing on individual items in pic) 


Tooth brushes and paste are pretty self explanatory! I needed some for hols so purchased them…

The coconut pulling? That was a ridiculous impulsive ‘I’ve seen it on YouTube’ purchase! 

I will attempt it – I don’t have much hope and will no doubt do it once but at least I can say I tried right? 

Meal planner board – £5 


I LOVE this! They had a choice of two patterns – this and another that had swirls on but Sophia chose the watermelons (I taught her right) 

I plan meals and not for weight loss but for saving money and keeping organised! When I do online shopping I try and stick to a rough idea of meals and check prior what we have in the cupboards so I don’t overspend (like the traumatising £88 in Lidl) 

With my 5am starts for my new job I wanted to make sure that I have everything I can in place to keep me on top of everything! Plus who can resist watermelon print on anything! 

More random stuff by the till – prices on items 


Did I need these? NO. 

Will I return them? NO.

My sister said ‘the bigger the hoop the bigger the hoe’ so maybe I should exchange them for some bigger ones aye 😩😩😂😂
I love liquid liner – can’t wing it for shit but might as well give it a go! I often find the cheaper products like this do actually turn out to be the best so I’m hoping this is too! 

That’s everything! I got a few treats for Sophia and some socks for Trevor (so he doesnt moan about how much I spent) and that was that! 
Hope that was helpful and you find some items you may even want to purchase yourself! If you do get any of the above let me know and tag me in all the pics on social media! 

Thanks for stopping by x 

The Fat Funny One x 

P.S – Can you do a weekly shop in primark like in tesco? Is that acceptable? 

Christine from Vodafone.

Today has been one of those days.

You know one of those days where after the first few hours you simply wish you could go back to bed, wake up and start all over again.

I had a super early start after an incredibly long day and late night yesterday so naturally a combo like isn’t the best of starts. I threw my stuff into my boot and I went to pop into my office before hours to grab my laptop as I was working from a different location; little did I know that there was an alarm! After 20 minutes of ear piercing whaling coming from a tiny little box on the wall, four phone calls and running around in stilettos I managed to finally sort the alarm out and get the bits I needed.

Grabbing my laptop bag I ran back out the door and headed to the lift. The door shut behind me and I went to swipe my security card to get in only to realise it wasn’t on my lanyard and was sat on my desk! Stuck between a security door and the lift I had no where to go and no way out! Another 40 minutes later, 5 phone calls, four people and a tantrum I was finally out the door and on route to my place of work for the day.

Driving out the car park my “door open” light begins flashing saying my boot isn’t closed! I pull over and jump out to see what’s happening only to realise something is jammed in the little boot catch. I pull and pull and pull and riiiiiiiiip. New jacket.

I take it out with its lovely new tear and throw it onto the back seat, get back in the car and continue my journey.

After an incredibly long and tough day as no internet connection made any work pretty impossible I get an email to say there is an alert on my credit file. I have had ongoing problems with Vodafone – Their mistake not mine and if I even began typing them you would be reading a historic novel and not a blog post.

I give Vodafone a call and 1 hour 36 minutes later, 3 advisor, the billing team, the cancellation team and a collective of 34 minutes on hold I am finally put through to someone called Christine. Who innocently asked me what the problem was and after having to explain myself for for 100th time I lost it. I became so overhwlemed with my day that I simply lost it and had a hysterical crying breakdown. Christine went off to try and find answers but unfortunately despite 2 months of me making weekly phone calls I didn’t get a solution to my problem, In fact I was being asked to pay THEM money.  I explained I was looking at purchasing my first home and with a “default” on my credit file that was INCORRECT it was effecting my credit score which had now been reduced due to their mistake. I explained the numerous phone calls, I listed names of every person I had spoken to, I gave facts about dates and times of all my phone calls, explained all the empty promises I had been given and all the misinformation I had been told. Christine was adamant there was simply nothing Vodafone would do to help, despite numerous people admitting fault. There was no accountability, no justice.

Something so pathetic like a messed up phone bill  just brought out all my hurt about the recent events around the world. There is no justice, no peace no solutions for some of these horrible evil events that are occurring around the world on a daily basis. Here I am crying over a phone bill and some people have lost their homes, their livelihoods, their lives. There is no justice for the innocent lives lost, for the heros who noone knows about and the misinformation and bias opinions provided in the media.

I felt defeated. There are loads of things going on in my life at the moment both positive and negative but at this moment, during this phone call I simply felt defeated. I sobbed and sobbed and just pulled out my debit card.

I gave Christine my payment details and just said take the money. I mean, what the point in arguing? What is the point in fighting? What is the point in giving a shit about anything when nothing will get done? As I gave the details something happened on the computer and Christine advised I would get a call back in a few minutes to complete the transaction. Feeling hopeless I simply agreed, put the phone down and waited for it to call.

It didn’t. Just as I expected. Because I had numerous people promise to call me back who didn’t so  why would Christine be any different? My phone may never have rung but I received a text message explaining why. Christine text me, explaining that I would get a call back tomorrow because in that time she was going to try and sort out my problem for me, she felt I deserved better treatment than what I had so far and she was prepared to try and do what she could to sort things out for me.

I read the message and I burst into tears. This time not out of frustration but out of relief, Appreciation & Guilt. Relief because I wasn’t going to have to make a payment right now which would put me even further into my overdraft. Appreciation because someone was finally looking into it for me and potentially helping me by fighting my corner and Guilt. Guilt because for that brief moment I gave up. For those few minutes I was defeated and felt there was nothing I could do to make a change.

 

I don’t know who Christine is, I don’t know if I will get a call back tomorrow or even if my problem will be solved.I might still have to pay, I might have to even pay more. But what I do know is that Christine made me realise that we should never give up. Even when we think there is no way out, even when we think we are fighting a loosing battle there is always time to try again. To start over, to try something new, to keep going. Christine made me realise regardless, I should never give up.

So thank you Christine. Thank you for making me realise that today is just one day. Whether something small happens or something huge. Its JUST today. Tomorrow we have the opportunity to change things, to try again, to start over. No matter how big or small the fight, it is always worth fighting for and always worth trying again. And again. And again.

Thank you for Stopping By x

The Fat Funny One x

 

The Man on the Mountain 

In February this year my boss asked the team if we wanted to take part in a Mountain climb for Charity and there was a collective ‘yes’ and loads of excited chat (from everyone but me LOL) but not wanting to be the only one who said no for no good reason (other than not not wanting to climb a mountain) I forced a smile and nodded that I would take part. I mean, it wasn’t until May so we had plenty of time to get ready, right?

Fast forward a month or two and it’s a week before the climb and in true Jess style I had done zero training, zero research and zero purchasing of mountain friendly items. I mean it’s just a big hill? The fact it is for charity means the good spirit and generous act will fuel me to climb to the top, right? (I am laughing typing this because I really had no idea what was coming)

So a bit of research at the last minute and a £90 sports direct order later I felt well and truly prepared. (Laughing again)

My order comes and I walk around the village breaking in my very sexy hiking boots convinced it counts as training too. Waterproof jacket is fab, rucksack perfect, waterproof trousers don’t even make it over one ass cheek but my weather app says it will be sunny so we are all good.

I decide that I really should prepare for any eventuality so spend a further £28.00 in Superdrug on deep heat, pain killers, Tena lady (not sure if they have toilets on the mountain) and enough blister plasters for a small family of centipedes.

The day arrives and I am up at 5am, full of energy and strangely excited about the day ahead (how naive)! I meet the team for a decent breakfast and off we go!

We had a group of about 20 and after some before photos, and filling up our bags with snacks we head off. We are walking along at a good pace and I am like yesssss I can do this. Views are good, people are good, this is going to be a breeze.

I loose track of time because this is so lovely! I start feeling a little out of breath but its cool, I got this. We stop for a quick break and I think the timing is perfect,just need to catch my breath and first stop indicates we have done a good chunk already! Amazing! I am feeling great, until I realise we have only just left the car park and stopped to use the toilet at the start. Shit.

The first 30/45 minutes is the steepest hill I have ever seen in my life. If this is what it is going to be like I may as well sack it off now but I cant, its for charity…plus someone doubted I could do it so there was no way I was going to quit.

The group slowly begins to split as people find others who are at their pace and we all start to make our way to the summit. It is HARD. Between the sun beating down on my five head, the rucksack packed with jungle trek supplies,676,876,546 bottles of water, chocolate bars and the fact my legs are only 11 inches long (possibly longer but not by much) I was SERIOUSLY struggling. However we make it to the half way point so there is possible some light at the end of this tunnel. (or summit at the top of the mountain…whatevs)

We took Llamberis path which I was convinced was the hardest until a woman in her 80s and a 4 year old passed me and then I realised it was simply the tourist route and I am majorly unfit.

The second half of the walk was A LOT harder than the first and at one point I just popped myself on a rock and burst into tears. I got myself together (just about) and this couple walked past. The gentleman asked if I was OK and if I was apart of a company team building event. I assured him I would NEVER be apart of a team that found this fun and that in actual fact it was for the Charity Help for Heros. He patted me on the back and said that was wonderful news and I need to keep going, he then threw in if I got to the top he would sponsor me! I laughed and said it wont be til next week if he could wait that long but thank you! We all laughed and off they went (ahead of me of course)

Skip 2 more hours and I FINALLY make it to the summit. I felt so overwhelmed with emotion because the only words I said to myself before I saw that couple were ‘impossible’ ‘never’ ‘forget it’ ‘you will fail’. But a little pep talk and the fact a stranger had taken the time to speak to the weird girl crying on a rock meant that I changed what I was saying to ‘little and often’ and ‘one foot in front of the other’ and that is exactly what I did til I made the top.

Celebrating on the summit with 657,655,877 selfies I get tap on my back. I turn around to see the gentleman from the couple and before I could speak he shouted ‘YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT GIRL, WELL DONE! HERE YOU GO, I PROMISED I WOULD SPONSOR YOU AND YOU DID IT’. With that he pushed a brand new £5 note in my hand and before words could leave my mouth he was gone heading back down.

That man probably thinks he did something simple or something anyone else would do but he really doesn’t understand the impact it had on me and my life.

He believed in me when I didnt believe in myself. He kept his word and he waited. He waited til I made it so he could fufil his promise. Does anyone realise just how incredible that is?

There are numerous videos of people doing good deeds that float around on social media, often massive generous gestures of kindness and it is incredible. However it can sometimes make us feel like if we cant do anything as big or bigger then what we can do is insignificant or wont make a change but we are wrong.

Every good deed and every act of kindness has a ripple effect of good. Simply encouraging someone, having faith in someone, lifting someones spirit or simply taking the time to talk to someone can be life changing for a lot of people, including me.

Never doubt how much a simple act can help someone else, don’t doubt the impact YOU can have on someone else. We may not all have the money, the ability or time to do something huge for someone but we all have the power to change lives.

That man on he mountain made that walk possible for me. That man on the mountain made me feel such love and so much pride. That man on the mountain was my little reminder that I am capable, I am strong and even when I may not believe I can do it there is always someone rooting for me and I will always make it to the top I just need to put one foot in front of the other.

The Fat funny one x

Thanks for stopping by x

P.S – Next time I will do a sponsored cake eating contest.

Swimwear & Sass

It’s been a while since I’ve written but I am glad to be back! 

After my recent holiday and 6 day swimwear showdown I had so many questions about where they were from/for/sizing etc so I thought the best place to pop all that info is here!!! 

I have chosen my top 5 days and shared the details below..enjoy 🙂 

Day 1

I sported the below pink triangle bikini from TU clothing. I bought it May 2016 from my local Sainsbury’s in a size 16 bottom and 18 top. As you all know I am pretty busty so found the string tie around my neck really uncomfortable and my neck was pretty sore the next day but this is more a reflection on my big tits than the bikini bra itself! 😂🙈 

However I have an love for this bikini and it’s lack of tan lines so much I wore it on the last day again and will no doubt wear it again however I will be you tubing different ways of tying to make it more comfy at the back! 

Because I purchased this so long ago I am sure they no longer have it but well worth checking! 

https://tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk 

Day 2

My favourite! A gorgeous black scoop back swimsuit from boohoo.com in their plus range.

I adore it and purchased it in a 16 but really wish I got a 14 because it would of had a bit more support for the ‘girls’ . It made me feel so sassy and I loved the low scoop back.

I found it so reasonably priced too at only £12! 

http://www.boohoo.com/restofworld/invt/pzz92181?rmsrc=1&_$ja=tsid:77520%7Ccid:294788705%7Cagid:20988291785%7Ctid:aud-236398762625:pla-189709030145%7Ccrid:85426831625%7Cnw:g%7Crnd:9358383773976186898%7Cdvc:m%7Cadp:1o2&gclid=CNvlwfTl2NMCFcIK0wodUaICCg

Day 3 

Saw me in my Curvykate high voltage bikini! One of my absolute faves EVERRRRR!

I am not a huge fan of high waisted bottoms personally for my shape but these were really comfy and the lace detail is beautiful. The bra has amazing coverage and the straps you can adjust at the back like a regular bra. 

The briefs were £18.00 in a size 16 and the bra £34.00 in my bra size 36GG both purchased from bra stop which I tend to get quite a few bits from!

http://www.brastop.com 

Day 4

Another gorgeous Curvy Kate number called Atlantis. (Can you tell I LOVE this brand) 😂🙈

I should of got a bigger bra size admittedly as I believe this is a 36F but it was in the sale and I love the pattern! 

I really like the briefs on these too as they have such good coverage and are so comfortable with no falling down or baggyness. The thickness at the sides is great for people who want that extra comfyness of bikini bottoms. The print just screams holiday for me so I adore it.

The bra is adjustable like a regular bra with a clip fasten at the bag. Despite the thin straps there was no digging and it was really comfortable. 

Purchased on the below link..in the sale last year but they still have it on offer! The bra is only £13.00 and the bottoms £9.00 absolute bargain!!! They have a Tankini and halter neck version of the print too!

http://shop.brastop.com/lingerie/Atlantis

Day 5 

The brightest of them all and probably my favourite back! 

This cross back swimsuit was lovely and purchased from Asos on the link below. My only worry with this and the colour was 1.Looking like a highlighter pen and 2. My brown nips showing through when wet and only one of those happened…

But I was a sexy highlighter so that’s all that matters! 

The straps at the back needed someone (my husband) to just lay flat as pulling it on they got a little tangled but it was super easy. Good support for the girls but I think this is as I got a size 14 rather than 16 so it was tighter. 

High leg at the sides so I had to make sure I had shaved for this one 😂🙈

All in all really nice to wear and good value for money at only £16. They had it in various colours including red or black but the one I have is orange soufflé.

http://m.asos.com/asos/asos-cross-back-high-leg-swimsuit/prd/7598068?CTAref=Complete+the+Look+Carousel_3&featureref1=complete+the+look

I hope that helps making swimwear choices but know no matter what you wear or what size you are your gonna to look absolutely incredible and every single body is already bikini/swimwear ready.

Every swimwear worn doesn’t need a cover up or a kaftan, it doesn’t need perfect boobs or a toned body. All it needs is you, a soul full of sass and a decent cocktail in hand. 

#beachready

Thanks for stopping by 

The Fat Funny one 

P.S #slayqueens