Primark haul! Work clothes, Holiday items and all the little shitty bits by the till…

Soooo I am NO fashion blogger but my self love journey has allowed me to make fashion choices I would never have before! It has allowed me to have so much freedom and ‘play’ with clothes and fashion styles that I would always have dismissed, claiming they were for ‘beautiful slim people only’. 
So my new found love for clothes (much to the despair of my credit card) has given me a new lease of life and I have started sharing little things here and there but wanted to actually do a full blown haul! 
A proper haul – check me out! 
Anywho I have categorised them sort of incase you want to skip some and look for something in particular! Not too many items though as I tried a few pieces on that I will be exchanging for different sizing etc or just looked ridiculous! 

One thing I will point out is sizing! I have a massive range of sizing in items here from 12-20! I can’t stress enough how much the number on a tag means nothing! Size seriously doesn’t matter so please don’t worry about that! For me it was all about getting the right fit and that’s all that matters. 
So here is my little mini Primark haul! 

As many of you know I am starting a new job tomorrow morning and wanted to just get a few new work bits to freshen up my work wardrobe (and make 5am starts worth getting up for). 

Navy V neck blouse – £6 / Size 18 

I really love this blouse! It isn’t stretchy hence why I got an 18 because I wanted the girls to have room to breathe! The V neck detail is perfect as it isn’t too low where I will worry about hoisting my top up all day in a bid to not scare my new colleagues with a flash of boob! It has little fold over cap sleeve which is nice too! 

Length is great – I am 5.1 so on anyone else it will be on hips but it’s a bit longer in me (as you can see). 

All in all a great all round blouse – don’t worry I will remember trousers when I wear them to work! 

Ivory T shirt blouse – £10 / size 16

I literally look like I’m pooing in this pic – I’m not but I wanted to get the sleeve detail in and the pocket and between that and being rubbish at this fashion stuff my pic ended up like the above! 
Really nice blouse with fabric that Has a little more give hence the size down. I love the detail on the sleeves and the pocket and the colour is lovely too! Too white for me = make up stains in the first 2 minutes so this ivory/cream is perfect. 
Black sheer sleeveless blouse – £8 / size 16 

I love this blouse and the fact although it’s sheer across the boob etc it’s jet black so you can’t see through! 

Sleeveless is something I don’t normally do at work but I really love this simple easy style. Size 16 which is fine but I could of gone a size up to ensure it slipped on especially over my hip as it’s a little longer than the average blouse.

Brown wide fit shoes – £8 / Size 4 

Pretty self explanatory! I had wide feet so I love that primark so wide foot shoes! 

I always think there shoes are great value altho after 6-12 months I always think they stink a bit and end up with a new pair but for the price I don’t mind so much! Love the buckle detail on these too! 
Lunch box/Snack bag – £1 

Probably one of the most important purchases for me. I mean it’s lunch soooo it’s high on my list of priorities! 

They had some incredible ones including Disney ones, trolls, belle and so many other patterns! 

Miami print swimsuit – £4 / size 14 

For £4 I literally couldn’t leave it. Fab price for a swimsuit and the fit is lush. 

I always size down in swimsuits so it’s tight enough to hold up the girls – don’t want to be tripping up round the pool! 

It’s a really low scoop back but really comfortable and actually really great support. 

Palm tree print swimsuit – £4 / Size 14 

The colour of this swimsuit is AMAZING! Really beautiful – it was Sophia who picked it out for me and I am super glad she did. I was going to choose between the two swimsuits but at £4 each I just threw them both in. 

Pizza LILO – £10 

Do I even need to explain? 

There are no words to describe the excitement about lying on this on holiday! *pics pending*

Blue print dress – £6 / Size 20

I massively sized up on this but I wanted it to be baggy! It has a draw string around the waist so I could tighten it accordingly as I have in the pic. 

It has cut out shoulders and a little drill detail at the end which I really love. 

Very light fabric almost like a Kaftan but not sheer (and was in the dress section) 

Will pair with som wedges on holiday and dress up for dinner in the evening. 
Other random shitty bits from the till 

I am the worst for picking these little bits up! And today was no different! 
Teeth products (pricing on individual items in pic) 

Tooth brushes and paste are pretty self explanatory! I needed some for hols so purchased them…

The coconut pulling? That was a ridiculous impulsive ‘I’ve seen it on YouTube’ purchase! 

I will attempt it – I don’t have much hope and will no doubt do it once but at least I can say I tried right? 

Meal planner board – £5 

I LOVE this! They had a choice of two patterns – this and another that had swirls on but Sophia chose the watermelons (I taught her right) 

I plan meals and not for weight loss but for saving money and keeping organised! When I do online shopping I try and stick to a rough idea of meals and check prior what we have in the cupboards so I don’t overspend (like the traumatising £88 in Lidl) 

With my 5am starts for my new job I wanted to make sure that I have everything I can in place to keep me on top of everything! Plus who can resist watermelon print on anything! 

More random stuff by the till – prices on items 

Did I need these? NO. 

Will I return them? NO.

My sister said ‘the bigger the hoop the bigger the hoe’ so maybe I should exchange them for some bigger ones aye 😩😩😂😂
I love liquid liner – can’t wing it for shit but might as well give it a go! I often find the cheaper products like this do actually turn out to be the best so I’m hoping this is too! 

That’s everything! I got a few treats for Sophia and some socks for Trevor (so he doesnt moan about how much I spent) and that was that! 
Hope that was helpful and you find some items you may even want to purchase yourself! If you do get any of the above let me know and tag me in all the pics on social media! 

Thanks for stopping by x 

The Fat Funny One x 

P.S – Can you do a weekly shop in primark like in tesco? Is that acceptable? 

All Yours…

As a full time working mum fashion isn’t really high on my priority list, I mean checking something matches and is clean is normally my go to. Who am I kidding. It doesn’t even have to match and what is febreeze for right? 
Becoming a mother isn’t really an excuse because I have never really been one to know what goes with what or what looks good! I mean I can dress myself (just about) but style has never been my ‘thing’ so I made myself a news years resolution that I would make more effort and learn more about my body so I could dress it accordingly. However, I made this resolution about 6 years in a row.
I quickly learnt it didn’t really matter what I wore but I needed to love my body enough so when I dressed it, it meant something. When I put it all together I started to take more interest about what suited my shape, what made me feel wonderful and what looked great! 
Shopping isn’t easy when your height of a smurf, have a chest the size of Jessica rabbit and you have more rolls than a greggs baker and when shopping I found the majority of the high street stores most of my friends shopped at only really went up to a size 16 but when trying the items on I began to question if they mean age 16 because no voluptuous woman I knew could squeeze all their fluff into these jeans! So I was more thankful a year or so ago when in my local shopping mall I walked past a ‘yours clothing’ store
Historically ‘plus size’ clothing stores have always had the same ‘shape’ clothes inside, all of dark colours and quite frankly haven’t ever really been ‘sexy’ but Yours was nothing like this.
I walked in and it was filled with bright colours, sparkley tops and I didn’t have to look right at the back of the rack for the last size 16 that was floating (that normally turned out to be a 12 on the wrong hanger) 
Hoorrahhh! I finally found somewhere I could get lovely clothes (that were clean and matched), stylish, at reasonable prices and that fit my body type and didn’t make me feel like I had to dress in black baggy clothes because I didn’t fit the ‘Norm’ 
I more recently started shopping online and much to my delight they have a lingerie section, shoes, accessories and loads of other fab brands with amazing curve hugging clothes. 
The lingerie section is all I could want! I’m a ‘5 pack’ kinda girl…(comfort is my priority and if your knickers don’t come up to your bra are you really wearing knickers?) but also for the occasions when I am feeling far more sexy they had some fabulous baby dolls and sexy sets all in plus sizes. They have a great choice of colours too..bye bye beige bra and hello hot pink! I mean big girls love bright colours too you know! 
I’m a short one (5’1 to be precise) with size 4 wide feet so shoes are another thing that are a little irritating to buy. I was happy with the selection on their website which had a range of wide fit with varying widths which made it even easier buying without having to worry I was going to have to squeeze my tootsies in shoes that only barbie could wear. 
They have a variety of other great brands available on their website too including chi chi London who do the most gorgeous dresses! Scarlett & Jo, AX Paris curve and Voodoo Vixen. It was nice to be able to scroll through and see a variety of styles for a variety of different tastes and fashion preferences. 
Now being the novice fashionista I am I was really impressed with the ‘what’s hot’ tab which had tips like finding your perfect jeans, dressing for comfort & style (obvs clicked here first) and even a preview of the next seasons trends. 
All in all I am really enjoying Yours clothing as a brand. In my opinion, it is a great option for ladies size 14+ whether your looking for a party dress, work clothes, just every day casual or like me at the moment …some honeymoon undies!!!! *insert wink emoji here lol* 
I often feel intimidated by other popular high street brands where I kinda don’t know where I start with outfits, the models don’t give me a true indication of what the clothes might look like as the are not really ‘plus size’ and everything almost seems like you need a degree in fashion to work out how to put it on! It often makes me feel a bit put off when I just want nice, stylish, simple outfits that I can put together myself and feel great wearing.
So any brand that has models true to size, has high street stores as well as online and sells 5 packs of big girl knickers alongside a lacy baby doll is defo a brand that gets my custom.

Thanks for stopping by X 
The Fat Funny one X
P.S – I promise I won’t pack any 5 packs in my honeymoon case. Lace only! *insert rolls eyes emoji here* 

Christine from Vodafone.

Today has been one of those days.

You know one of those days where after the first few hours you simply wish you could go back to bed, wake up and start all over again.

I had a super early start after an incredibly long day and late night yesterday so naturally a combo like isn’t the best of starts. I threw my stuff into my boot and I went to pop into my office before hours to grab my laptop as I was working from a different location; little did I know that there was an alarm! After 20 minutes of ear piercing whaling coming from a tiny little box on the wall, four phone calls and running around in stilettos I managed to finally sort the alarm out and get the bits I needed.

Grabbing my laptop bag I ran back out the door and headed to the lift. The door shut behind me and I went to swipe my security card to get in only to realise it wasn’t on my lanyard and was sat on my desk! Stuck between a security door and the lift I had no where to go and no way out! Another 40 minutes later, 5 phone calls, four people and a tantrum I was finally out the door and on route to my place of work for the day.

Driving out the car park my “door open” light begins flashing saying my boot isn’t closed! I pull over and jump out to see what’s happening only to realise something is jammed in the little boot catch. I pull and pull and pull and riiiiiiiiip. New jacket.

I take it out with its lovely new tear and throw it onto the back seat, get back in the car and continue my journey.

After an incredibly long and tough day as no internet connection made any work pretty impossible I get an email to say there is an alert on my credit file. I have had ongoing problems with Vodafone – Their mistake not mine and if I even began typing them you would be reading a historic novel and not a blog post.

I give Vodafone a call and 1 hour 36 minutes later, 3 advisor, the billing team, the cancellation team and a collective of 34 minutes on hold I am finally put through to someone called Christine. Who innocently asked me what the problem was and after having to explain myself for for 100th time I lost it. I became so overhwlemed with my day that I simply lost it and had a hysterical crying breakdown. Christine went off to try and find answers but unfortunately despite 2 months of me making weekly phone calls I didn’t get a solution to my problem, In fact I was being asked to pay THEM money.  I explained I was looking at purchasing my first home and with a “default” on my credit file that was INCORRECT it was effecting my credit score which had now been reduced due to their mistake. I explained the numerous phone calls, I listed names of every person I had spoken to, I gave facts about dates and times of all my phone calls, explained all the empty promises I had been given and all the misinformation I had been told. Christine was adamant there was simply nothing Vodafone would do to help, despite numerous people admitting fault. There was no accountability, no justice.

Something so pathetic like a messed up phone bill  just brought out all my hurt about the recent events around the world. There is no justice, no peace no solutions for some of these horrible evil events that are occurring around the world on a daily basis. Here I am crying over a phone bill and some people have lost their homes, their livelihoods, their lives. There is no justice for the innocent lives lost, for the heros who noone knows about and the misinformation and bias opinions provided in the media.

I felt defeated. There are loads of things going on in my life at the moment both positive and negative but at this moment, during this phone call I simply felt defeated. I sobbed and sobbed and just pulled out my debit card.

I gave Christine my payment details and just said take the money. I mean, what the point in arguing? What is the point in fighting? What is the point in giving a shit about anything when nothing will get done? As I gave the details something happened on the computer and Christine advised I would get a call back in a few minutes to complete the transaction. Feeling hopeless I simply agreed, put the phone down and waited for it to call.

It didn’t. Just as I expected. Because I had numerous people promise to call me back who didn’t so  why would Christine be any different? My phone may never have rung but I received a text message explaining why. Christine text me, explaining that I would get a call back tomorrow because in that time she was going to try and sort out my problem for me, she felt I deserved better treatment than what I had so far and she was prepared to try and do what she could to sort things out for me.

I read the message and I burst into tears. This time not out of frustration but out of relief, Appreciation & Guilt. Relief because I wasn’t going to have to make a payment right now which would put me even further into my overdraft. Appreciation because someone was finally looking into it for me and potentially helping me by fighting my corner and Guilt. Guilt because for that brief moment I gave up. For those few minutes I was defeated and felt there was nothing I could do to make a change.


I don’t know who Christine is, I don’t know if I will get a call back tomorrow or even if my problem will be solved.I might still have to pay, I might have to even pay more. But what I do know is that Christine made me realise that we should never give up. Even when we think there is no way out, even when we think we are fighting a loosing battle there is always time to try again. To start over, to try something new, to keep going. Christine made me realise regardless, I should never give up.

So thank you Christine. Thank you for making me realise that today is just one day. Whether something small happens or something huge. Its JUST today. Tomorrow we have the opportunity to change things, to try again, to start over. No matter how big or small the fight, it is always worth fighting for and always worth trying again. And again. And again.

Thank you for Stopping By x

The Fat Funny One x


The Fat Funny Bake Off 

We all know I have an obsession with cake. And rightfully so, it’s amazing! Victoria sponge, red velvet and carrot (not so keen but still, don’t discriminate) are just to name a few. All cakes are wonderful and I have never turned one down, however baking them is a different story. 
Now because I can’t bake (unless it’s an add water box jobby) programmes like The Bake off don’t tend to excite me enough to run into the kitchen, however I was still inspired; so I am writing this. 
After watching the show and seeing the process I kept thinking about how my life related so much and not because I had pretty much eaten most of the cakes or biscuits they baked but because it kinda just made sense…Yes I know – strange; but hear me out. 
To bake any good cake you need ingredients and this is exactly the same for a happy life. You need some key components to make your life work for you; with ingredients that are personal to you to make your ‘life cake’ exactly how you want it. 
Like in the bake off everyone’s tasks are exactly the same..but the ingredients, their methods and their designs are all down to the individual, much like our own lives. 
So it got me thinking, what are my ingredients? What are the key things I need for a good life? What are the things that have got me to where I am in the process of baking this extraordinary life cake?
I started writing words down as they came into my head, almost like I was writing a shopping list of items I needed. And the main four that meant the most to me were: Hope, Passion, Positivity and determination. 
These were the four ingredients that have got me where I am in all aspects of my life and will continue to get me to where I need to be. 
I considered all different scenarios in my life and situations I have been through and realised that there have often been times I have needed a bit more of one ingredient than another. 
For example, when going for my job I’m in now, I needed more passion than I did hope. Don’t get me wrong I hoped I would get it but I needed more passion in order to land it. It became apparent to me that often you have to increase or reduce the measurements of your ingredients depending on the situation your in but ultimately all of those things will play a part. So just like the job; I hoped I would get it, I remained positive, I was determined to get it but ultimately It was my passion for what I do that got me the offer. 
Of course there are sometimes other flavours thrown in like integrity, courage, trust and a dash of crazy (possibly quite a bit more of that than necessary) but these things make me who I am and are the reason I keep going and going even when I’m not sure where I will end up. 
So what are your ingredients that make you? Do you know what they are? I guess in some ways they are your values or morals and every time you get in a situation if you know your ingredients it doesn’t matter what anyone throws at you. So if they throw their negativity or jealousy in your mixing bowl, if they switch off your oven mid cook or if they try and sabotage your recipe, if YOU know the key ingredients, your finished item will always turn out great and they will end up with the bitter taste in their mouth. 
Ultimately it’s about knowing who you are. Knowing the ingredients that will make your ‘life cake’ just as you want it.
I have had a few situations recently where I have really been bothered by other people trying to ruin my recipe, trying to throw in their negativity and I have often let them ruin my cake mix by allowing their thoughts or feelings towards me have an impact in what I do, say and feel. But it’s me and NOONE messes with my cake! 
This may make complete sense or no sense at all, but I’m writing about cake and that makes me happy. 
So know who you are, don’t let ANYONE steal your joy or try and project their own feelings on to you and what you are doing. Know yourself well enough that if someone tries to bring you down you are so sure of yourself that they will only ever show themselves up. Remember your ‘ingredients’, remember that it is YOUR cake your baking and no one else’s so it’s about you, your life and your happiness.
Don’t feel forced to take on anyone else’s ingredients either. That’s the beauty of ‘life cake’ there are so many different flavours that there is enough for everyone to have their own. 
Own yours. Be proud of your ingredients. They make you who you are and being an individual is your power! Being you is your power and sometimes in life not everyone will like what you choose to do with your cake, whether it’s the ingredients, your methods, your design or how you decorate it but you know what, if you watch someone else’s oven to closely the contents of yours will ruin! 
Thanks for stopping by X 
The fat funny one X 
P.S – I really fancy a slice of cake. 

The Man on the Mountain 

In February this year my boss asked the team if we wanted to take part in a Mountain climb for Charity and there was a collective ‘yes’ and loads of excited chat (from everyone but me LOL) but not wanting to be the only one who said no for no good reason (other than not not wanting to climb a mountain) I forced a smile and nodded that I would take part. I mean, it wasn’t until May so we had plenty of time to get ready, right?

Fast forward a month or two and it’s a week before the climb and in true Jess style I had done zero training, zero research and zero purchasing of mountain friendly items. I mean it’s just a big hill? The fact it is for charity means the good spirit and generous act will fuel me to climb to the top, right? (I am laughing typing this because I really had no idea what was coming)

So a bit of research at the last minute and a £90 sports direct order later I felt well and truly prepared. (Laughing again)

My order comes and I walk around the village breaking in my very sexy hiking boots convinced it counts as training too. Waterproof jacket is fab, rucksack perfect, waterproof trousers don’t even make it over one ass cheek but my weather app says it will be sunny so we are all good.

I decide that I really should prepare for any eventuality so spend a further £28.00 in Superdrug on deep heat, pain killers, Tena lady (not sure if they have toilets on the mountain) and enough blister plasters for a small family of centipedes.

The day arrives and I am up at 5am, full of energy and strangely excited about the day ahead (how naive)! I meet the team for a decent breakfast and off we go!

We had a group of about 20 and after some before photos, and filling up our bags with snacks we head off. We are walking along at a good pace and I am like yesssss I can do this. Views are good, people are good, this is going to be a breeze.

I loose track of time because this is so lovely! I start feeling a little out of breath but its cool, I got this. We stop for a quick break and I think the timing is perfect,just need to catch my breath and first stop indicates we have done a good chunk already! Amazing! I am feeling great, until I realise we have only just left the car park and stopped to use the toilet at the start. Shit.

The first 30/45 minutes is the steepest hill I have ever seen in my life. If this is what it is going to be like I may as well sack it off now but I cant, its for charity…plus someone doubted I could do it so there was no way I was going to quit.

The group slowly begins to split as people find others who are at their pace and we all start to make our way to the summit. It is HARD. Between the sun beating down on my five head, the rucksack packed with jungle trek supplies,676,876,546 bottles of water, chocolate bars and the fact my legs are only 11 inches long (possibly longer but not by much) I was SERIOUSLY struggling. However we make it to the half way point so there is possible some light at the end of this tunnel. (or summit at the top of the mountain…whatevs)

We took Llamberis path which I was convinced was the hardest until a woman in her 80s and a 4 year old passed me and then I realised it was simply the tourist route and I am majorly unfit.

The second half of the walk was A LOT harder than the first and at one point I just popped myself on a rock and burst into tears. I got myself together (just about) and this couple walked past. The gentleman asked if I was OK and if I was apart of a company team building event. I assured him I would NEVER be apart of a team that found this fun and that in actual fact it was for the Charity Help for Heros. He patted me on the back and said that was wonderful news and I need to keep going, he then threw in if I got to the top he would sponsor me! I laughed and said it wont be til next week if he could wait that long but thank you! We all laughed and off they went (ahead of me of course)

Skip 2 more hours and I FINALLY make it to the summit. I felt so overwhelmed with emotion because the only words I said to myself before I saw that couple were ‘impossible’ ‘never’ ‘forget it’ ‘you will fail’. But a little pep talk and the fact a stranger had taken the time to speak to the weird girl crying on a rock meant that I changed what I was saying to ‘little and often’ and ‘one foot in front of the other’ and that is exactly what I did til I made the top.

Celebrating on the summit with 657,655,877 selfies I get tap on my back. I turn around to see the gentleman from the couple and before I could speak he shouted ‘YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT GIRL, WELL DONE! HERE YOU GO, I PROMISED I WOULD SPONSOR YOU AND YOU DID IT’. With that he pushed a brand new £5 note in my hand and before words could leave my mouth he was gone heading back down.

That man probably thinks he did something simple or something anyone else would do but he really doesn’t understand the impact it had on me and my life.

He believed in me when I didnt believe in myself. He kept his word and he waited. He waited til I made it so he could fufil his promise. Does anyone realise just how incredible that is?

There are numerous videos of people doing good deeds that float around on social media, often massive generous gestures of kindness and it is incredible. However it can sometimes make us feel like if we cant do anything as big or bigger then what we can do is insignificant or wont make a change but we are wrong.

Every good deed and every act of kindness has a ripple effect of good. Simply encouraging someone, having faith in someone, lifting someones spirit or simply taking the time to talk to someone can be life changing for a lot of people, including me.

Never doubt how much a simple act can help someone else, don’t doubt the impact YOU can have on someone else. We may not all have the money, the ability or time to do something huge for someone but we all have the power to change lives.

That man on he mountain made that walk possible for me. That man on the mountain made me feel such love and so much pride. That man on the mountain was my little reminder that I am capable, I am strong and even when I may not believe I can do it there is always someone rooting for me and I will always make it to the top I just need to put one foot in front of the other.

The Fat funny one x

Thanks for stopping by x

P.S – Next time I will do a sponsored cake eating contest.

Swimwear & Sass

It’s been a while since I’ve written but I am glad to be back! 

After my recent holiday and 6 day swimwear showdown I had so many questions about where they were from/for/sizing etc so I thought the best place to pop all that info is here!!! 

I have chosen my top 5 days and shared the details below..enjoy 🙂 

Day 1

I sported the below pink triangle bikini from TU clothing. I bought it May 2016 from my local Sainsbury’s in a size 16 bottom and 18 top. As you all know I am pretty busty so found the string tie around my neck really uncomfortable and my neck was pretty sore the next day but this is more a reflection on my big tits than the bikini bra itself! 😂🙈 

However I have an love for this bikini and it’s lack of tan lines so much I wore it on the last day again and will no doubt wear it again however I will be you tubing different ways of tying to make it more comfy at the back! 

Because I purchased this so long ago I am sure they no longer have it but well worth checking! 

Day 2

My favourite! A gorgeous black scoop back swimsuit from in their plus range.

I adore it and purchased it in a 16 but really wish I got a 14 because it would of had a bit more support for the ‘girls’ . It made me feel so sassy and I loved the low scoop back.

I found it so reasonably priced too at only £12!$ja=tsid:77520%7Ccid:294788705%7Cagid:20988291785%7Ctid:aud-236398762625:pla-189709030145%7Ccrid:85426831625%7Cnw:g%7Crnd:9358383773976186898%7Cdvc:m%7Cadp:1o2&gclid=CNvlwfTl2NMCFcIK0wodUaICCg

Day 3 

Saw me in my Curvykate high voltage bikini! One of my absolute faves EVERRRRR!

I am not a huge fan of high waisted bottoms personally for my shape but these were really comfy and the lace detail is beautiful. The bra has amazing coverage and the straps you can adjust at the back like a regular bra. 

The briefs were £18.00 in a size 16 and the bra £34.00 in my bra size 36GG both purchased from bra stop which I tend to get quite a few bits from! 

Day 4

Another gorgeous Curvy Kate number called Atlantis. (Can you tell I LOVE this brand) 😂🙈

I should of got a bigger bra size admittedly as I believe this is a 36F but it was in the sale and I love the pattern! 

I really like the briefs on these too as they have such good coverage and are so comfortable with no falling down or baggyness. The thickness at the sides is great for people who want that extra comfyness of bikini bottoms. The print just screams holiday for me so I adore it.

The bra is adjustable like a regular bra with a clip fasten at the bag. Despite the thin straps there was no digging and it was really comfortable. 

Purchased on the below the sale last year but they still have it on offer! The bra is only £13.00 and the bottoms £9.00 absolute bargain!!! They have a Tankini and halter neck version of the print too!

Day 5 

The brightest of them all and probably my favourite back! 

This cross back swimsuit was lovely and purchased from Asos on the link below. My only worry with this and the colour was 1.Looking like a highlighter pen and 2. My brown nips showing through when wet and only one of those happened…

But I was a sexy highlighter so that’s all that matters! 

The straps at the back needed someone (my husband) to just lay flat as pulling it on they got a little tangled but it was super easy. Good support for the girls but I think this is as I got a size 14 rather than 16 so it was tighter. 

High leg at the sides so I had to make sure I had shaved for this one 😂🙈

All in all really nice to wear and good value for money at only £16. They had it in various colours including red or black but the one I have is orange soufflé.

I hope that helps making swimwear choices but know no matter what you wear or what size you are your gonna to look absolutely incredible and every single body is already bikini/swimwear ready.

Every swimwear worn doesn’t need a cover up or a kaftan, it doesn’t need perfect boobs or a toned body. All it needs is you, a soul full of sass and a decent cocktail in hand. 


Thanks for stopping by 

The Fat Funny one 

P.S #slayqueens 

Just keep spinning…

A few weeks ago I attended my first spin class in years and well…almost 70,000 of you have watched my video so we all know how that went!!! 
I WASNT impressed. The sore fanny, the uncomfortable seat, the dreaded half a turn, it was a hot mess and so was I. Traumatised some may say is slightly dramatic – personally I think it’s a perfect description of what occurred that day and is now deeply buried in the ‘things we never talk about box’ like the date I went on when he made me sit in the back of a transit van. (Yea. That’s defo staying in the box) 
Anyway my friend Fiona saw my video and text me demanding I went with her to her spin class in Oxford street. Obvs I said no. But she was adamant it was ‘amazing’ and ‘so much fun’ *rolls eyes* and she would even get it for me as a pre wedding gift! (I know…I’m surprised we are friends too) 
Anyway, she also offered coffee and lunch and I wouldn’t be Jess if I didn’t take up an offer of free food so I said yes. 
We met at Costa and she tried so hard to get me excited but I just kept having flash backs of being violated by the bike seat previously so I just really couldn’t get into it but a quick watch of Ariana Grande’s side by side video and I was beginning to feel it..
We jumped on the tube and headed to PSYCLE London (it has PSY in the start which is also the beginning of PSY-CHO but who am I to judge) . It was a large glass building down a side street and was filled with yoga pant crop top wearing Londoners ready to ‘feel the burn’. We walked in and signed in and was greeted by a gorgeous tall girl who looked at me and quite quickly realised I was out of place but reassured me I would love it..ok sister…if you say so *second eye roll* . We were given these shoes that resembled a cross between bowling shoes and studded football boots but they smelt ok so I took them and apparently they clip into the pedals! (I know – I didn’t know that existed either) 
We walked into these glamorous changing rooms with digital lockers that looked like something from the men in black. There were beauty products, deodorants to use, face wipes, spare hair bands, free hair dryers and straighteners! I was slowly feeling a little bit better but then it only this nice because it’s the place you come to die? 
A few more girlies were in there including our friend Danniella (who had already gone on Thursday and was back again – WTF?) 
We grabbed our water and headed downstairs to the studio…although halfway down the stairs the people in the previous class were walking out and looking at them it quickly dawned on me that I might not actually survive this. *third eye roll* 
We were at the back (thank god) and when we walked in the instructor was writing on the board. I waited till she finished and it read ‘we need to be grounded in order to fly higher’. I liked it….and even if I died during her class at least I left the world encouraged!
I adjusted the seat, got on and clipped myself in (after screaming at the girls to helpppp) and the class started! 
Kaya was the name of the instructor and she kicked off with some amazing music which undoubtably made the class far easier to bear and dare I say it..FUN! 
She pushed everyone without sounding like an army sergeant and she constantly lifted spirits by talking about self love, feeling grounded, doing this for you, and asking questions like what’s stopping you? The words hit home and Kaya’s timing was just incredible…it was right up my street! 
After 40 minutes of hard core spin to some absolutely wicked tunes we had some hand weights and worked on our upper half. That was tough but I wanted to do it, I wanted to feel the pride that Kaya spoke of! 
The class ended on a stretch and Kaya left everyone feeling sweaty, probably a bit broken but lifted and encouraged. 
All in all…I loved it. Yes. You read that right. I, Jessica, THE FAT FUNNY ONE…LOVED the spin class! I loved the music. I loved the venue and I loved Kaya. 
If you want to feel pumped, don’t mind a few swears (we all need them when we exercise), want to burn some calories and have your spirit lifted then I would without hesitation recommend Kaya’s spin class at PSYCLE London. 
I will be returning..although this does depend on if I can walk again but providing I can then without fail I will be in one of those bike seats again (at the back) 
Now excuse me while I go and get some Kale juice and an avocado…
Thanks for stopping by 
The Fat Funny one X 
P.S My Fanny isn’t on fire! Wahey!